Throwback Thursday: P is for “Pretty in Pink”

I know the obvious topic for “P” in my alphabet series should be Pokemon, especially with last week’s release of Pokemon Go. But honestly, I’m not that into it, largely due to the fact that apparently my less-than-a-year-old phone is too ancient for the game so maybe I’m just a little salty.

That being said, I have no issue with Pokemon or its latest incarnation. If you like it, go forth! Have fun! Catch ’em all! If you don’t like it, you don’t have to play and at the very least, please stop bitching about it on Facebook and trying to make people feel bad for enjoying something.

Moving on.

Pretty in Pink is a John Hughes film released in 1986 and it’s part of the Brat Pack collection. The Brat Pack consisted of a group of actors who appeared in a number of coming of age films in the 1980s, many directed by John Hughes, and the core members of which were Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Rob Lowe, Andrew McCarthy, Demi Moore, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ally Sheedy. There are other secondary members including people like Jon Cryer and James Spader, both of whom appear in Pretty in Pink, but from what I gathered in my research, the one thing everyone agrees on is that they hate being called the Brat Pack so I’ll just get on with discussing the movie.

The film focuses on the economically star-crossed lovers Andie Walsh (Molly Ringwald) and Blane McDonough (Andrew McCarthy). Blane is one of the “richies” at the school and hangs out with monster douchebag Steff (James Spader) while Andie is a poor kid who literally lives on the wrong side of the tracks. However, I think Hollywood might have a warped idea of what poverty actually looks like because this is Andie’s house:

Look at that squalor!
Look at that squalor!
By the way, that’s the poor kid’s very own car.

But despite the difference in their fathers’ incomes, Andie and Blane like each other anyway, inciting scandal at the school because ew, poor people. Andie is supported by her best friend, Duckie (Jon Cryer), who is painfully in love with Andie but she’s too far up her own ass to notice or care. Steff continually hits on Andie but when she spurns his advances, he goes out of his way to bully her because that’s not red flag behavior and you definitely shouldn’t tell someone about it.

Pictured: Andie and Steff
Pictured: Andie and Steff

Blane wants to prove to her that he’s not like them so he braves a punk/New Wave club to ask Andie out. Duckie is, predictably, jealous.

"Ignore the fact that my name reminds you of a baby animal!"
“Ignore the fact that my name
reminds you of a baby animal!”

The next day, Andie waits for Blane at TRAX, the New Wave record store she works at, owned by her friend, Iona (Annie Potts), because she’s ashamed to let Blane see her poor, destitute house.

Seriously, fuck you, Hollywood.
Seriously, fuck you, Hollywood.

While waiting in the record store, Andie and Iona talk about Blane until Duckie arrives and this glorious moment in cinema happens:

Andie might not be impressed, but I am. That is hands down my favorite part of the whole movie.

Anyway, Blane is late picking up Andie so Duckie starts arguing with Andie about how Blane isn’t a good guy, he’ll just hurt her, and so on and so forth. Andie gets mad at Duckie but then Blane arrives so Duckie storms out.

For their very first date ever, Blane thinks it’ll be a good idea to take Andie to a party at his asshole of a best friend’s house. He claims that even if the party is lame, they could still have fun.

I don't think they let men and women hang out together in Turkish prisons but maybe I'm missing the point of this sentiment.
I don’t think they let men and women hang out together in Turkish prisons but maybe I’m missing the point of this sentiment.

They arrive at Steff’s house and, as anticipated by everyone but Blane, they treat Andie like garbage because she doesn’t have her own yacht or something. Andie gets upset so she and Blane leave the party and instead go to a local club. Afterwards, Blane offers to take Andie home but she refuses because she’s embarrassed for him to see where she lives.

Fuck this movie.
Fuck this movie.

Andie finally gives in and lets Blane drive her home. He is, of course, not a douche so he’s not scared off by her house. He asks her to prom and she accepts before they share their first kiss.

"At least if I kiss you, I can close my eyes so I don't have to <br />look at your gross house."
“At least if I kiss you,
I can close my eyes so I don’t have to
look at your gross house.”

Inside the poor people house, Andie’s dad surprises her with a pink dress he found at a thrift store. Andie likes to sew and create hideous outfits, so he figured she could do something with it to make a prom dress. This turns into a big fight during which Andie finds out they’re even poorer than she thought and they also fight about Andie’s mom, who left.

"I'm sorry we're poor, Andie. It's your mother's fault."
“I’m sorry we’re poor, Andie.
It’s your mother’s fault.”

After taking that detour to remind us that Andie is VERY POOR,  the movie gets back on track. Steff, still full of Frollo-style jealousy, pressures Blane into distancing himself from Andie because ew, poor people. Blane has no spine so he starts avoiding Andie but she isn’t putting up with his shit and calls him on his bad behavior at school. Rather than own up to it, Blane claims he’d already asked someone to prom and forgotten about it so he can’t take Andie.

Be careful what you ask for, Andie, he might tell you the truth about that vest.

Blane tries to tell her that she doesn’t understand, it’s not about her, which I think translates to “You don’t know how hard it is to be rich!” When Andie leaves, Steff decides to get involved and he starts badmouthing Andie to Blane again in the hallway. Duckie overhears this and attacks Steff and the two fight until teachers pull them apart.

“Spin move!”

Later, Andie visits Iona while Iona is getting ready for a date and, inspired by her friend’s happiness, Andie decides to go to prom after all.

Iona gives her a pretty pink dress which Andie frankensteins with the dress her father bought her to create this awful monster:

WHY?
WHY?

Andie gets nervous about attending but is emboldened by Duckie, who meets her there. They walk in together and Steff starts drunkenly making fun of Andie and Duckie. Blane FINALLY realizes that Steff is a douche and after confronting him, Blane approaches Duckie and Andie. He shakes Duckie’s hand and apologizes to Andie before leaving the prom. Duckie concedes that maybe Blane is a nice guy despite the fact that he’s rich so Andie ditches him and runs to catch up with Blane. Duckie, alone at prom after going out of his way to support his friend so she wouldn’t be alone, looks around and sees a pre-Buffy the Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson who waves him over.

Her character in the film is called “Duckette.”
I shit you not.

Andie catches up to Blane in the parking lot and after deciding they can overcome their difference in tax brackets, they make out in front of Blane’s car.

True love really can conquer anything.
True love really can conquer anything.

Happy Throwback Thursday!

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