Radio Feature and Continuing the TBT Alphabet

Last month, I had the honor of having my work featured on a popular local radio show called Radio Currents which only features music from the last two years. It’s a neat show and I’m excited to have been a part of it. Although I wasn’t able to be at the studio to read my own work on the air, the host of the show was kind enough to do it for me and I hope to return in the future. If you’d like to check out the show, click on the music player below. Additionally, it will be archived under the Media & Moving Pictures tab at the top of this site.

I also have several new Throwback Thursday features on Maglomaniac, including:

E is for Emancipation (Prince album)

F is for The Faculty

G is for Nickelodeon GUTS

H is for Hole

Please click on the above links or visit the Throwback Thursday link under the Emily’s Work tab at the top of this site.

I have a few other things in the work at the moment which I will be announcing soon–stay tuned!

Throwback Thursday: H is for Hole

 

Formed in 1989, Hole was a grunge band that gained notoriety as one of the most successful female-fronted rock bands of all time. And unless you’ve been living in a hole (I don’t even care if you laugh at that, that joke was for me), you know who was the female front in this group.

Yup, this hot mess.
Yup, this hot mess.

Courtney Love formed the band with lead guitarist Eric Erlandson after he responded to her ad that simply said, “I want to start a band. My influences are Big Black, Sonic Youth, and Fleetwood Mac.” Supposedly, he met her and at first completely regretted his decision to respond to the add because Courtney Love is Courtney Love. But then Erlandson got over that and they formed a band (and also dated for the band’s first year). Originally, Love wanted to name the band Sweet Baby Crystal Powered by God but she was overruled in favor of the name Hole.

One guess as to how she came up with the first name.
One guess as to how she came up with the first name.

I’m mocking Courtney Love a lot because she’s an easy target, but it’s also important to remember the cultural impact she actually had in the 90s. In addition to being the lead in one of the most successful female-fronted bands of all time, she often sang openly feminist lyrics about survival in the face of pain and suffering and adversity and used her music and her appearance as a means to subvert popular opinion about the way a woman should look, sound, and act. There’s something pretty empowering about a woman who just doesn’t give a fuck if you think she’s pretty or ladylike or overstepping her bounds just because she happens to be female. Love her (ha!) or hate her, she is who she is regardless of if she has anyone’s approval. Courtney Love is also commonly cited by modern female singers as a significant influence on their own music, including artists such as Tegan and Sara and Lana Del Rey.

Del Rey also has some weird fixation on Kurt Cobain so maybe she's not the best example.
Del Rey also has some weird fixation on Kurt Cobain
so maybe she’s not the best example.

After 13 singles, 6 Grammy nominations, 3 LPs, 10 music videos, and one compilation album, Hole disbanded in 1999. In 2009, Love announced a Hole reunion, much to the surprise of her former bandmates who had no idea what the fuck she was talking about. It caused a little bit of tension for a while when Erlandson started making statements about how Courtney Love couldn’t reform Hole without him due to a contract of some kind. But then the following year, Hole released a single so apparently when Courtney Love says, “Jump!”, everyone else asks, “How high?”

"Did someone say 'high?'"
“Did someone say ‘high?'”

The band’s new album, Nobody’s Daughter, was released in 2010 and it was received with tepid enthusiasm. It seemed like the critics really wanted to like it, but it’s as if they were hoping for John Lennon and ended up with Ringo.

Sorry, man. But you know it's true.
Sorry, man.
But you know it’s true.

Possibly due to the mediocre reception, the returning band members kind of half-assed their commitment to the group. Earlier this year, most of Hole’s members made statements to the effect of “yeah, we’re just not that into it” but each time they say things like this, Courtney Love posts a selfie with them and hints at yet another Hole reunion because as we’ve learned, Courtney gets what Courtney wants.

"Goddamn right."
“Goddamn right.”

In closing, please enjoy my favorite Hole song:

If you were hoping I’d share a different one, you’re welcome to complain about it in the comments or just go on YouTube and listen to whatever you want.

Don't be offended by the photo. It's what Courtney would want.
Don’t be offended by the photo.
It’s what Courtney would want.

Happy Throwback Thursday!

Throwback Thursday: G is for “GUTS”

GUTS, or Nickelodeon GUTS was a game show that aired, unsurprisingly, on Nickelodeon from 1992-1995. It was essentially a teen version version of Ninja Warrior and was hosted by Mike O’Malley, whom most of you would probably recognize from Yes, Dear or Glee if you watched either of those shows.

Then and Now
If you didn’t, it was this guy.

It was also “refereed” by Moira Quirk who didn’t really referee anything as much as she announced the contestants’ running point totals in a British accent while wearing a black and white striped shirt.

But everything sounds better with a British accent, so I get it.
But everything sounds better with a British accent,
so I get it.

In the show, the three teen contestants competed in “extreme” physical challenges for points. However, I’m not sure how extreme they can actually be because there’s about a 10:1 ratio of spotters to contestants and each kid is wrapped up in enough padding to make even the most paranoid parent feel secure.

"Have fun, honey!"
“Have fun, honey!”

The final challenge was, of course, the Aggro Crag.

TA DA!!!!!!
TA DA!!!!!!

It was an indoor mountain with various obstacles like fog machines, falling foam rocks, and glitter cannons. If you think the glitter cannon doesn’t sound like much of an obstacle, then you’ve clearly never tried to clean up glitter before.

Don't believe me? Go ahead, dump some out on the carpet. I'll wait.
Don’t believe me?
Go ahead, dump some out on the carpet.
I’ll wait.

At the end of the competition, Moira read the teleprompter tallied the results and declared one teen the winner while the other two hung their heads in shame and tried to stammer out some bullshit about how it was just fun to compete.

It was harder for some to pretend than others.

As I discussed in my previous column about Legends of the Hidden Temple, some of these game shows for kids had some pretty awesome prizes like a Caribbean cruise for the whole family. So what did the winners of GUTS walk home with?

A piece of the Aggro Crag.

"Yeah, no, this is way better than a cruise."
“Yeah, no, this is way better than a vacation.”

They tried to make it sound cooler by calling it “a piece of our radical rock” but let’s call it what it is: a giant glow stick. And I don’t know if you can tell from this photo, but those trophies were huge. There’s no way it would have comfortably fit on a dresser with all your Beanie Babies.

"Welp, I guess it's off to the garage with you."
“I guess it’s off to the garage with you, radical rock.”

If you still want one of these trophies but the height of your athleticism is walking to the fridge, a past winner sold theirs on eBay because apparently GUTS  success doesn’t translate to adulthood. This particular trophy already sold, of course, but it’s only a matter of time before the rest of them pop up on Craigslist.

Just make sure you double check before you purchase.
Just make sure you double check before you purchase.

Happy Throwback Thursday!

Throwback Thursday: F is for “The Faculty”

Remember this 1998 gem of a film?

Sorry, guys.
For some, there is no forgetting.

This movie is not all that notable for its plot (aliens take over school, heroes have to kill alien queen to save humanity, yadda yadda yadda) but it features a pretty impressive cast, which kind of compensates for shitty storytelling. But only kind of.

The movie opens with the high school principal, Bebe Neuwirth (also known as Lilith, Frasier Crane‘s very pale ex-wife), returning to her office long after school is closed because she forgot her keys. The football coach, T-1000, bars her from leaving her office and begins to behave more and more erratically because he hasn’t yet downloaded the most recent update from Skynet.

This couldn't have helped either.
This couldn’t have helped either.

Lilith stabs the T-1000 in the hand with a pencil and manages to escape to the parking lot where she is emotionlessly murdered with a pair of scissors by Catherine Martell from Twin Peaks.

"Bitch had it coming."
“Bitch had it coming.”

We’re introduced to the motley crew of heroes including nerdy photographer Frodo, Mia Toretto from The Fast and the Furious, Mia’s misunderstood jock boyfriend Shawn Hatosy (that dude from Southland and Fear the Walking Dead), teen drug dealer Josh Hartnett, bland white girl and transfer student Marybeth, and Clea DuVall, whom you might recognize as that one girl from that one thing.

Yeah, her
Yeah, her

Frodo finds a weird, parasite-looking thing and takes it to Jon Stewart, his science teacher. Stewart believes he (and by he, I mean, Frodo) has discovered a new species and is super stoked that maybe he can get the fuck out of teaching high school and move on to bigger and better things. Frodo leaves and tells Mia Toretto, his editor at the school newspaper, about the new species he discovered and she drags him to the teachers’ lounge to hide in a closet and scoop the story because that’s not at all weird. While they hide in a closet and Frodo attempts to hide his Hobbit boner, they witness the T-1000 and Catherine Martell shove one of the parasites into the nurse’s ear. Did I mention that the nurse is Salma Hayek? Because the nurse is Salma Hayek.

"Uh . . . I have a cough." *cough cough*
“Uh . . . I have a cough.”
*cough cough*

Oh, and Frodo and Mia also find a dead body. While they’re busy calling the cops to report a corpse, the body is mysteriously moved and the seemingly undead Principal Lilith tells Frodo to stop being such a little attention whore.

"Next thing you know, you'll want an entire fellowship to follow you around like you're something special."
“Next thing you know, you’ll want an entire fellowship to follow you around like you’re something special.”

The next day, Frodo tells Mia, the dude from Southland, and that one girl from that one thing that he believes that the school faculty are being controlled by aliens because that’s a natural leap in logic. Josh Hartnett and the nondescript transfer student wander into the room and hear this and have a normal person reaction and tell Frodo he’s stupid. Jon Stewart arrives and confronts the teen space fighters about their theory. The situation escalates very quickly and suddenly they’re cutting off Jon Stewart’s fingers and injecting Josh Hartnett’s drugs into his eye.

Seriously, this happens.

They grab the parasite and run back to Josh Hartnett’s house where they learn that the ecstasy/meth he creates and sells apparently kills the alien, as evidenced by the whole stabbing-Jon-Stewart-in-the-eye thing. To prove none of them are infected, Josh Hartnett insists everyone take the drug which really sort of sounds like he’s just trying to expand his customer base but whatever, let’s just go with it. As it turns out, Mia is infected by the alien tapeworm or whatever the fuck it is and she trashes Josh Hartnett’s home drug lab as well as most (but not all) of the drug before escaping.

"Please don't tell Dom."
“Please don’t tell Dom.”

That one girl from that one thing has the idea of killing the alien queen to save the planet so they return to the school where the football team is currently playing and infecting the opposing players. That maybe seems like kind of an extreme effort to win a game but maybe that’s just me. But just in case, don’t mention the whole ear parasite thing to the New England Patriots–they might actually try it.

I'm looking at you, Tom Brady.
I’m looking at you, Tom Brady.

The space fighters believe Principal Lilith to be the alien queen so they corner her in the gym and shoot her in the face because why not?

They guessed incorrectly
They guessed incorrectly

The guy from Southland goes to check on the football team to see if killing Lilith worked and ends up getting infected because he’s essentially useless in this movie. Frodo and Josh Hartnett make a run for Josh Hartnett’s car to retrieve more drugs but their alien classmates find them. Frodo runs like he’s trying to escape the orcs to help create a diversion for Josh Hartnett who is then forced to kill his hot teacher, Jean Grey.

The part where Wolverine then revenge kills Josh Hartnett was left out of the movie.
The part where Wolverine then revenge kills Josh Hartnett was left out of the movie.

Left alone with the nondescript transfer student, that one girl from that one thing has an “appearances can be deceiving” conversation with Transfers McGee who then reveals that she is *gasp* THE ALIEN QUEEN!!!

The plot twist that literally anyone with a pulse saw coming!
The plot twist that literally anyone with a pulse saw coming!

Frodo and Josh Hartnett return and there’s a big battle with the alien queen, both in a distractingly naked human form and true alien form because boobs. Frodo ends up stabbing the queen in the eye with the drugs because everyone in this movie is really into eye stabbing for some fucked up reason. The queen dies, all the parasites die, and everything returns to normal except for our alien fighting heroes. Frodo and Mia start dating, the guy from Southland and that one girl from that one thing start dating, and Josh Hartnett stops selling drugs and instead plays football while Jean Gray looks on proudly from the sidelines.

The moral of the story: stab everyone in the eye and destroy an alien race to make all your dreams come true.

Happy Throwback Thursday!

Throwback Thursday: E is for Emancipation

I’m neurotic enough to want to stick to the nostalgic ABC theme I currently have going but after the world lost Prince last week, I, of course, wanted to find some way to do a tribute to him. Luckily, he happened to have an album that began with the letter “E” but that’s not really surprising when you consider how prolific of an artist he was with 39 studio albums, 4 live albums, 6 compilation albums, 17 video albums, 13 EPs, 104 singles, and 1 remix album.

This is my level of accomplishment.
This is my current level of accomplishment.

Emancipation was Prince’s 19th studio album, released in 1996, so named because it was his first album after he was freed from the long battle he’d had with Warner Bros. It was in the midst of this battle that Prince changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol, later referred to the Love Symbol.

This. As if you didn't already know.
This.
As if you didn’t already know.

Emancipation was a 36 song, 3 CD album that featured the first covers Prince had performed on an album including Joan Osborne’s “One of Us”, Bonnie Raitt’s “I Can’t Make You Love Me”, and “La-La (Means I Love You) by The Delfonics. Did I mention that in addition to being such a huge album, it was also his third of the year?

I was proud of myself for putting out one book within six months. Please buy it.
I was proud of myself for putting out one book within six months.
Please buy it.

This album also featured several songs and ballads dedicated to his son, Boy Gregory, who was born one month prior the album’s release and tragically died shortly after birth due to a rare disease called Pfeiffer Syndrome. A recording of his son’s heartbeat was used as part of the percussion line of one of the songs. Granted, the song is “Sex in the Summer” but it’s Prince so whatever.

Let's be real, you're not surprised.
Let’s be real, you’re not surprised.

Like many people who own a TV, I’m a big fan of Saturday Night Live and my husband and I watch every week. Last season, season 40, we noticed something was . . . off . . . about the musical guests in the first few episodes. We weren’t sure what was happening but they all sounded so subpar that we started wondering if there was something wrong with the sound equipment at SNL because everyone sounded like first timers performing at an a local open mic night. And then, on the fifth episode hosted by Chris Rock, Prince was the musical guest. The moment Prince began to play, my husband and I looked at each other and we didn’t have to say a word. It wasn’t the sound equipment–it was the other artists. Because when a true artist, a true talent came out on that stage, he sounded incredible.

Prince was truly a special artist and a one of a kind talent. There’s not much more that I can say about him that hasn’t already been said other than to reiterate how deeply the music world will miss him.