Summary: After over a year apart, Colt finds MC (Ellie) at Langston. (NSFW)
Notes: This is my entry for Day 7 of Ride or Die Appreciation Week! This takes place between Fade and Keep Quiet and is pretty smutty.
“Ugh, there is nothing more disgusting than Ben’s apartment,” Ingrid said as she flung open the door to the dorm room she shared with Ellie.
“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad,” Ellie said from her bed, not bothering to look up from her textbook. She was used to this complaint about her roommate’s boyfriend’s place, but she had to admit it wasn’t unfounded. Ellie had gone over there a few times with Ingrid over the last several months and although Ben’s room wasn’t too bad, his roommates were barely a half step above feral.
“I swear, I’m never going back there,” Ingrid said as she dropped her stuff by her bed and immediately started to rummage in her closet for her robe. “I feel like I need to shower for three days each time I spend the night there.”
“Just don’t use all of the hot water in the building,” Ellie said.
“There isn’t enough hot water on campus to make me clean,” Ingrid said as she grabbed her shower caddy. “Are all guys this gross?”
Ellie thought briefly of Colt’s room at his father’s shop and of the meticulous way he’d cleaned and organized everything. She tried to fight the dull ache that still pulsed in her chest when she thought of him. “No, they’re not.”
Ingrid paused, hesitating before she set her shower caddy back on the dresser. Ellie kept her eyes on her textbook, but she knew Ingrid hadn’t missed the shift in her tone.
“Have you heard from him yet?” Ingrid asked gently. Ellie shook her head.
“No. It’s been over a year and he said he’d find me, but…” Ellie stopped, willing her voice not to break. Ingrid sat down on the edge of her bed.
“Ellie, I know you love him, but…maybe it’s time to move on. Find someone else. I could set you up with one of Ben’s friends, some of them are really cute.”
Ellie forced a laugh as she brushed at the tears in her eyes before they fell. “After your ringing endorsement of their cleanliness? No thanks.”
“Oh, god, not one of his roommates,” Ingrid assured her, laughing. Then her laugh faded and her face grew more serious. “Seriously, El. Think about it.”
“I will,” Ellie promised, although the words felt thin and empty in her mouth, rattling around like dried corn husks.
“At the very least, you should think about…” Ingrid hesitated.
“Maybe…not wearing his jacket all the time?” she said gently as she gestured to the familiar leather jacket slung over the back of Ellie’s desk chair. “That has to be making it harder.”
“I’ll think about it,” Ellie said, turning her attention back to her book, closing the conversation.
Ingrid reached over and gave her arm a soft, encouraging squeeze before she left their room, grabbing her shower caddy as she left. Ellie sighed and put down her book before lying back to stare up at the plain white ceiling of her dorm room. No matter how she tried to let go of Colt, her mind always went back to him. Most of the time she wasn’t sure if she wanted to kiss him or kill him, but above all else she missed him. She missed his dry, sarcastic humor, she missed the way it felt to wrap her arms around him on his bike, she missed the intense way he looked at her, like he was always trying to memorize her, just in case. Ellie supposed they were living in the “just in case” now, but she had honestly never thought they would. How naive she’d been.
A few days later, Ingrid was settling in for a night of garbage reality TV while Ellie packed her bag for the library. Notebook, pens, laptop, charger, statistics textbook…wait, where’s the book? She checked her desk, frowning.
“Ingrid, have you seen my statistics book?” she asked as she sorted through the pile of books on her desk.
“Over here,” Ingrid said as she reached for the nightstand to retrieve the book and handed it to her. “You fell asleep reading last night so I put it here so it wouldn’t fall onto the floor.”
“Thanks,” Ellie said, relieved. She quickly tucked the book into her bag and zipped it shut. “Okay, I think that’s everything.”
“El, relax–I thought you were just doing preliminary research for your paper,” Ingrid said as she queued up the latest episode of America’s Most Eligible on her laptop.
“I am, but I don’t want to forget anything.” Ellie sat down in her desk chair and pulled on her sneakers. As she tied the laces, there was a knock at their door. Ellie paused and she and Ingrid looked at each other.
“Are you expecting anyone?” Ellie asked. Ingrid shook her head.
“No,” Ingrid said. “Ben and his roommates are having a video game marathon. Are you expecting anyone?”
Ellie shook her head. “Come in!” she called, but the door remained closed. “It’s open,” she tried again. Still nothing. Ellie sighed and rolled her eyes as she finished tying her shoes. She stood and put on the leather jacket before slinging her bag over her shoulder and crossing the room to open the door.
Ellie stared in disbelief, unable to speak. He looked the same as always and yet everything was different. Instead of his usual confidence, Colt’s hands were shoved into his pockets and he wore a zipped sweatshirt instead of his leather jacket–which she was suddenly very aware of on her own body–and his face was tired, with windburn on his cheeks and shadows under his eyes.
The sound of Ingrid’s voice snapped her out of her trance and Ellie realized she hadn’t said anything yet.
“What are you doing here?” Ellie finally asked, still not entirely sure this was really happening.
“I told you I’d find you,” he said quietly, a ghost of a smirk quirking at the corner of his mouth. His eyes flicked down to his jacket and back up to her face, making her cheeks burn.
“How did you get past security?” she asked lamely. “You have to have a student ID to get into the dorms.”
“Ellie, come on. You really think campus security is a deterrent?” he asked, amused.
“I’m gonna go…” Ingrid said as she climbed out of her bed and closed her computer.
“No, you don’t have to,” Ellie said, trying to clear the Colt-induced fog from her brain. “I have to go to the library anyway; enjoy your night in.” She quickly stepped into the hallway, careful not to touch Colt as she closed the door behind her in spite of Ingrid’s protests and started walking down the hall.
“So, we’re going to the library?” Colt asked, quickly falling into step beside her.
“I’m going to the library to do some research for a paper,” Ellie said. “I have no idea what you’re doing.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“I guess I can’t stop you,” Ellie said as she bypassed the elevator, not wanting to get stuck waiting beside him. He’s here. Why is he here? What is happening? God, I want to slap him…or kiss him…shit, I don’t know what I want. She pushed open the door to the stairwell and started down the stairs. She’d barely reached the first landing before she felt his hand on her arm.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded, whirling around to face him. “I haven’t heard from you in over a year, and you just show up here with no warning like it’s nothing and now you’re, what, going to help me study? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“You’re my driver, right?”
Before she realized what was happening, her palm stung with the force of the slap when she connected with his cheek. He winced and gingerly touched his fingertips to his reddening skin.
“I deserved that.”
“You think?” she asked. “So, what, now you think you can just show up here and things are going to be okay?” All of the feelings she’d buried for the last year began to bubble to the surface. “I have a life. I’ve moved on.”
Colt reached out and lightly touched the collar of his leather jacket, fingers not quite brushing against her neck. He said nothing. After a moment, Ellie stepped out of his reach.
“What are you doing here?”
“I told you I’d find you,” Colt said, his dark eyes holding hers. His gaze felt like a physical touch.
“Mission accomplished, so now what?” Ellie asked. “What do you want?”
Colt was silent as he watched her, his eyes tracing every curve of her face. Ellie waited, but still he said nothing and anger welled up inside of her, ready to burst. She turned, not wanting to say something or do something else she’d regret, but he caught her by the arm again.
“Ellie, I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I know you’re angry with me, but it wasn’t safe for me to come here before. I had to make sure the heat was off before I found you.”
“You could’ve called.”
“No, I couldn’t have,” he said, taking a tentative step closer to her. Ellie crossed her arms, but didn’t back away. “If I’d called and heard your voice, I wouldn’t have been able to stay away when I needed to.”
“What about now?”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair, and Ellie was struck once again by how tired he looked. “Things are better, but still not good. I can’t stay–” Ellie scoffed, shaking her head, but Colt pushed on. “–but this is my first chance I’ve had to see you and I swore to myself I wouldn’t miss it. Not if you slapped me or slammed the door in my face or refused to talk to me. Seeing a little of you is better than nothing.”
Ellie’s mind was reeling with everything she’d kept inside, especially the darkest fears she hadn’t told anyone, not even Ingrid.
“You said you loved me and that you’d find me, but I didn’t hear from you,” Ellie said slowly, fighting to keep her voice from breaking. “It was easier to be angry with you than to consider the possibility that you might be dead.”
Colt took a tentative step towards her and when she didn’t move away, he closed the distance between them and gently wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Ellie froze, unable to move, but Colt didn’t let go. He’d never really been one to verbalize his feelings, but Ellie could feel everything he was trying to pour into that embrace, every apology for the days they’d spent apart, every phone call he’d never made. It was all there, wrapped around her, an offering to her if she’d only accept it. She closed her eyes, inhaling in the familiar, comforting scent of him, and slid her arms around his waist, tired of pretending she was okay living without him. Ellie felt the relieved shudder of his breathing when she returned his embrace before he broke, squeezing her tighter to him as he kissed the top of her head, her temples, forehead, nose, cheeks, and finally her lips. She kissed him back, her lips trembling as if she was afraid he’d disappear by the time she opened her eyes.
“I love you so much,” he whispered, his breath warm against her ear.
“I love you, too.”
“I thought you said you’d moved on,” he said, pulling back slightly to look in her face. The smirk on his lips tried to hide the pleading in his eyes, but failed.
“I lied,” she said with a shrug.
Ellie felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she pulled it out, checking the text.
Just left for Ben’s. Don’t be an idiot. Also, don’t have sex on my bed.
“Where are you staying?” Ellie asked, sliding the phone into her bag.
“To be determined,” Colt said. “Why, you know somewhere I can crash?”
Ellie wound her fingers between Colt’s and led him back up the stairs to her floor. When she unlocked the door, she was impressed by how quickly Ingrid had cleared out. If she ever needed to get out of town quickly, Ellie definitely knew she’d ask Ingrid to help her.
“So, this is your dorm,” Colt said as he surveyed the room.
“Yeah,” Ellie said as she put her bag down on her desk chair. “We were more into decorating last year, but we haven’t gotten around to it yet in this one.”
“It’s weird to see you here,” he said. “Don’t get me wrong, it suits you, but I’m just used to seeing you…”
“…behind the wheel of a stolen car?” she finished for him. He chuckled.
“Something like that,” he agreed as he sat on the edge of her desk. She took a deep breath and stepped closer, surprised by how nervous she still felt around him. He took her hands in his, turning one over to place a soft kiss on her palm.
“It doesn’t feel real that you’re here,” she said, immediately regretting how cheesy that must have sounded. He smiled slightly and put her hand to his face, leaning into her touch.
“I’m real, I promise,” he said softly. “I know I sometimes take a while to make good on my promises, but I’m here this time.” Colt wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face in the curve of her neck. “God, I missed you,” he murmured, lips brushing against her skin. Ellie felt her heart pounding in her chest, the reverb seeming to echo inside her ears. She slipped her hands under the hem of his shirt, her fingertips splayed across his bare skin. Colt sucked in a breath at her touch.
“What’s wrong? I’m sorry, are you okay?” she asked, letting go and pulling back immediately.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Colt said as he reached for her. But she kept her distance, choosing instead to slowly unzip his hoodie. He let her open it, peeling it back from his shoulders before she took it and draped it over the back of her desk chair. Then she lifted the hem of his t-shirt and he raised his arms, letting her pull it over her head. Ellie inhaled sharply when she saw his side, a large portion of it covered with a huge, greenish-yellow bruise.
Colt shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Ellie, please. I…” he trailed off and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. I had to in order to survive. I just…I don’t want to talk about it right now. I don’t want to waste what little time I have with you.”
Starting at his shoulders, Ellie gently trailed her fingertips down his arms to his wrists. Most of his skin was smooth and unblemished, but there were a few new scars on his left bicep she didn’t remember, slightly raised notations marking the time they’d spent apart. He watched her silently as she traced her fingers back up his arms before running them down his back, relieved to feel nothing but smooth skin. When her hands reached the top of his jeans, she slid them over his hips to the front, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on his chest as she undid his belt. Ellie felt Colt cradle her head in his hands and kiss the top of her head before he let go as she knelt down in front of him. She removed one shoe and then the other, tugging his socks off and tossing them aside before she rose up on her knees to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Ellie carefully tugged his jeans down, slowly revealing his legs. She felt her heart hitch when she saw the large purple bruise on his right leg, much fresher than the one on his side, but she kept her attention on his pants until they reached the floor. Ellie helped him step out of them and set them aside before she leaned forward, lips gently brushing the fresh bruise.
She looked up at him and was surprised to see tears in his eyes, his hands gripping the edge of the desk. Immediately, she stood up and cupped his face in her hands.
“I’m sorry, did I do something wrong? I’m so sorry–” she said quickly, but he shook his head.
“No, it’s…shit, I just…” he trailed off, roughly rubbing at his eyes. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you and I…part of me forgot what it’s like to be loved by you.”
Ellie kissed him softly but Colt quickly deepened the kiss, tugging her closer as if he could kiss away the painful truth of his own admission. Ellie responded eagerly, pouring everything she’d felt for the last year into the kiss as she curled her hand around the back of his neck. Without breaking away from him, she kicked off her shoes as Colt slid the jacket, his jacket, from her shoulders, his hands sliding up her shirt to caress her smooth, unscarred skin before pulling on her belt loops, pressing her hips flush against his. She gently rolled her hips against his and he moaned softly into her kiss before undoing the button on her jeans.
“Are you sure?” Ellie asked. Colt nodded, his lips sliding along her jaw before his kisses followed the curve of her throat as he pushed her jeans away from her hips to the floor.
“The only thing I’ve wanted since I last saw you is to be with you again,” Colt said when he returned to her lips. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”
Ellie reached out, fumbling for her chair to pull it out from her desk as he reached behind her to unhook her bra. He dropped it to the floor as she took off his boxer briefs and gently pushed on his shoulders until he sat down in her chair. Colt leaned forward, lips brushing her stomach as he tugged down her underwear and maneuvered her over to sit on the edge of her desk. He kissed her thighs, slowly, almost reverentially as he made his way towards her center. When he kissed her lips, parting her with his tongue, she felt him moan softly.
“Fuck, I’d almost forgotten how good you taste,” he murmured as he put her knees over his shoulders and tightened his grip on her hips. Ellie ran her fingers through his hair, tugging him closer as he caressed her with his mouth.
When she began to squirm under his touch, Colt began to increase his speed, lapping at her, tongue teasing her clit as he brought her closer and closer to the brink. When she came, hips bucking and his name on her lips, he held her tightly in place, pinning her to his tongue.
“Holy shit,” she said through ragged breaths when he finally released her, blinking back stars from her eyes. She slid off the desk, legs still shaking, and straddled him on the chair.
“I still love the way you say my name,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around her.
“I’m not done saying it,” she said, slowly grinding along the length of his cock. Colt groaned, leaning down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth. She arched her back, letting her head fall back as she continued to move her hips. He slid one hand around to her front and brushed his thumb over her sensitive clit. “Fuck, Colt, I need you.”
“Do you have…” he trailed off, finding it hard to focus on anything except how good it felt to have her with him again.
“I’m on the pill and I haven’t been with anyone but you,” she said, looking back at him. “Have…have you? I mean, been with…”
Colt shook his head. “No. I’ve thought about you every day since we said goodbye. No one else could have even stood a chance.”
Ellie stood up slightly and guided him to her before sinking down on him, biting her lip as he filled her, inch by delicious inch. He kissed her, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth as she began to rock her hips against his, moving slowly as he let his lips fall from hers, kissing every inch of bare skin her could reach. Her fingers tightened in his hair as she felt him suck her skin on her collarbone, nearly the same spot as the last mark he left on her so long ago.
“Colt,” she whispered, her forehead pressed against his.
“I know,” he said quietly, his voice heavy with desire. “I love you, too.”
Before long, Ellie began to move faster, Colt’s thumb circling her clit as he thrust up into her, desperate to bring her to the edge again as if the physical pleasure could apologize for his silence for the last year.
“I’m close,” she gasped, hands slick on his sweaty skin.
“I have you,” he promised. “I’m here, I have you.”
The wave crescendoed and she came, body trembling around him, pulling him into his own release, face buried in her neck with her name on his lips. When he pulled back from her, Ellie once again saw his eyes shining with uncried tears.
“Colt…” she said gently, fingers brushing his face, but he tried to turn away from her.
“Fuck, this is embarrassing,” he said, laughing awkwardly. “This is not how I pictured seeing you again.”
“Stop pretending you don’t feel things,” Ellie said, her voice soft. He sniffed and wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly to him as he nestled his face against her neck again, reveling in the feel of her in his arms again, the way they were supposed to be.
Later, nestled under the blankets of her bed, Colt brushed the hair out of her face.
“What are you studying anyway?” he asked, hating that he knew so little about her life.
“Business,” she said, using her leg draped over his hip to pull him closer to her.
“You sound surprised,” Ellie said, rolling her eyes.
“I didn’t mean that in a bad way, I guess I just wasn’t expecting that,” he said. “What made you decide to pick that as a major?”
She shrugged. “Someone has to make sure the shop doesn’t go bankrupt when you reopen.”
Colt sat up in bed. “What?”
“You’re still planning to reopen, right?” she asked.
“So you need someone who knows what they’re doing,” she said. Ellie pushed herself up to a sitting position. “Being away from you made things that much clearer for me. Colt, I’m in. I’m all in. If you’ll have me.”
He stared at her in the darkened dorm room, too many thoughts spinning through his mind to make sense of them except for one that blared like a siren.
“Marry me, Ellie. Please.”
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