The other day, I was leaving a store I’ll refer to as “Shmarget” after spending entirely too much money (again) when I saw an accessory that I haven’t seen in many, many years: a chain wallet.

Get in line.
What I found funny about the guy wearing the chain wallet was that he didn’t necessarily look like the type to wear this sort of accessory. He wore a button up shirt, pleated front khakis (guys, please never wear these, they don’t look good on anyone), and sensible shoes . . . set off with a chain wallet.

I understand the practicality of a chain wallet for the sole fact that it’s harder to steal. Unless you have bolt cutters of some kind, which would make you a very obvious mugger and people would probably avoid you anyway as the weird guy carrying around bolt cutters.

In the 90s, I certainly saw the need for a chain wallet. With JNCOs as the popular pants of choice, it could be easy for a wallet to get lost in such voluminous pants, necessitating a tether of some sort and let’s be real–a chain looks more badass than that plastic braided lanyard you made at summer camp.

Are chain wallets a thing again? Did I miss some kind of memo? I didn’t personally have one but is this something I can expect to see more often? Is this a way of turning adults into leash kids? Are people just more excited by chains lately because of 50 Shades of Grey?

Whatever the reason, I feel like this is a trend that should avoid coming back into popularity. I know the 90s have been experiencing a resurgence over the last couple years but there’s a difference between a cute girl wearing a crop top and a dude with a chain wallet that’s decorated in blue flames.

Yes, I married him anyway.