Drunken Water Buffalo in Shorts

For this first time in almost a decade, I decided to buy a pair of shorts. I don’t necessarily have an aversion to the way I look in shorts; if I’m honest, I usually wear long pants because I’m lazy and don’t shave my legs very often. I know there’s nothing requiring me to shave my legs, but feeling the breeze waft through my leg hair isn’t something I personally enjoy.


Moving on.

What struck me most when I put on the shorts was not how pale my legs are (although my skin is practically translucent), but rather how beat up they are. I was expecting one bruise on my shin because I ran into the corner of my bed frame this morning at 3am like a drunken water buffalo, but my legs are littered with bruises and scratches. I suppose I’m not surprised because I’m fairly clumsy and I guess I know how often I run into stuff, but it was still kind of surprising. I’m starting to think I need knee and elbow pads just to get through my house safely.

Going to the bathroom seems like it might be problematic.

So now, if my very pale skin blind traffic, people might get concerned over the network of bruises on my legs. Maybe I should just stick to jeans.

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