Monday Morning Regrets: Week 4

Although I admire poetry, I myself am not much of a poet. Two years ago, in an effort to change this, I decided to do a short poetry challenge. For one week, I wrote a daily poem and the results were . . . well, not what I expected. I didn’t expect to write anything earth-shattering. I also didn’t expect that I’d just end up writing haikus about how much I hated my fantasy football team . . . but that’s exactly what I did:

Hate the Patriots
Julian Edelman sucks
It’s all your fault, man

I never claimed they were good haikus.

I thought it’d be fun to bring back these fantasy football poems as a regular feature on this blog. I came up with this idea last weekend when I lost both of my fantasy match ups and I was feeling particularly resentful. However, this week, both of my teams showed up in a pretty amazing way. I not only won both of my match ups, but I won both of them by at least a 35 point margin. I like to think that the players could feel my anger and it made them play better.

Philip_Rivers_2014.JPG
I’m looking at you, Felipe Rios.

The only downside to winning both of my match ups (have I mentioned yet that I won both match ups? Because I did) is that I am not currently filled with rage at my teams, leaving me no choice but to write a more positive haiku:

As soon as I shout
That my team is terrible
I finally win

I’ll try harder next week.

Advertisements

Emily Regan is the author of several books, including "What's an Adult?: No One Knows Anything and We're All Going to Die." She is an avid fan of reality TV, an unironic Hanson fan, and currently resides in Arizona with her family.

One thought on “Monday Morning Regrets: Week 4

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.