Posted in Entertainment, Monday Morning Regrets, Sports

Monday Morning Regrets: Week 17

I know I’ve been slacking on these posts, but depression is a bitch and doesn’t like to let me do things like write blog posts or function like a normal human being. However, I’m slowly crawling my way out of the hole I’ve been in and I wanted to do a football post during this last weekend of regular season games and do a wrap up of my fantasy season.

League #1: Fuck You, Gronk

In my first league, I made it to the playoffs but I was knocked out of contention by my darling husband who is, thankfully, a much more graceful winner than I am.

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I don’t play well with others.

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Posted in Entertainment, Monday Morning Regrets, Sports

Monday Morning Regrets: Week 11

Through some inexplicable miracle, I’m still a contender in both of my leagues. I know, I’m shocked, too. In my first league, I’m currently up 160.1-130.4. All of my players are done so that’s my final score, but my opponent still has K.J. Wright. Technically, my opponent could make a comeback, but the likelihood that a defensive player will get 30 points is unlikely. Not impossible, but unlikely.

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Knock on wood.

Superstitious thoughts
Would that help the Broncos win?
Is this all my fault?

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Posted in Entertainment, Monday Morning Regrets, Sports

Monday Morning Regrets: Week 7

Sigh.

This was not a good week for me.

In one of my match ups, I was projected to win by over 30 points. I was feeling particularly optimistic when LeSean McCoy got me 27.2 points . . . but then the Broncos played.

Tears of deep sadness
My wounded heart is crying
Broncos crushed my soul

I played Trevor Siemian as my quarterback and he got me a whopping 7.4 points. Against the Chargers.

Philip Rivers1
This is somehow your fault.

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Posted in Entertainment, Sports, That's What She Said

What It’s Like to Be a Female Sports Fan

Bro: I wish more women liked football.

Me: I love football.

Bro: OH, YEAH?! WHAT WAS THE BLOOD TYPE OF THE BROTHER-IN-LAW OF THE SECOND COUSIN OF THE STEELERS’S ASSISTANT COACH IN 1973?!

I’ve had conversations like this entirely too often because apparently, some guys seem to feel the need to have me prove that I’m a “real fan.” I’ve been quizzed on which NFL teams are in which division, scoring, and the current roster of various teams, among other things. I’m a deeply dedicated fan of the Denver Broncos and I play in two fantasy football teams, yet I still often get treated like I’m the human equivalent of NFL clickbait.

Unfortunately, I am not the only woman who experiences this because assholes abound everywhere. In fact, some of these assholes are in the NFL:

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Here’s one now!

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Posted in Entertainment, Monday Morning Regrets

Monday Morning Regrets: Week 4

Although I admire poetry, I myself am not much of a poet. Two years ago, in an effort to change this, I decided to do a short poetry challenge. For one week, I wrote a daily poem and the results were . . . well, not what I expected. I didn’t expect to write anything earth-shattering. I also didn’t expect that I’d just end up writing haikus about how much I hated my fantasy football team . . . but that’s exactly what I did:

Hate the Patriots
Julian Edelman sucks
It’s all your fault, man

I never claimed they were good haikus.

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